Letting Go

Since I was so moved by Daniel Collinsworth’s recent post, I decided to read some of his other posts. I was moved by his post about, “Letting Go of What You Are Not.” He says, “We only become what we are by the radical and deep-seated refusal of that which others have made of us.”

For a long time I have had trouble of letting go (holding grudges, ruminating over things that disturb me). I have always joked that it is because I am part Italian or part Filipino, or both, but the truth is, it probably has nothing to do with that.  Collinsworth says that he has been exploring the idea of, “Letting go of what I no longer resonate with, and nurturing the deeper “me” underneath all that, instead of trying to patch myself up in an attempt to become something new and improved.”

What if I don’t know what “Me” is?

He further adds, “I think we lose sight of who we are when we find ourselves identifying with the paint and the dirt. We think all those layers of “stuff” define us, and then we feel defective. So we try to become less of this, and more of that. In this way, we continually create a distorted, unsatisfying sense of Self.”

He says, “Consider the idea that the You you’ve been searching for is already present within you, just waiting for conscious connection. Let go of the idea that you need fixing, because deep down, you aren’t really broken. You’ve only taken on layers of concepts, habits and dogmas that aren’t serving you, and certain basic needs have gone unmet for awhile.”

This sounds a lot like Spirit Junkie‘s concept. I have been hearing a lot about Gabrielle Bernstein. My friend Kim is a strong believer in her teachings. Bernstein also believes that the very best you is already there and that you just have to be conscious of it. I am tempted to believe that what she says is real, but the skeptic in me says that all of these people peddle feel-good nonsense.

So yesterday I took my daughter to an introductory gymnastics class at the Little Gym and then afterward to McDonald’s for lunch. It’s a long story, but Marissa and I got our food and headed to the table with the touch screen game consules. When we arrived, a family was just getting up so we thought that we would sit there. Once all of the dust cleared, sort to speak, there were two new kids sitting there. I don’t know where they came from. When the father of the children walked up (without any food) I just said that because there were two kids, and I only had one that they could sit there. I was trying to be nice. THEN … yes, there is more. When a threesome of teens were nearly finished with their meals (and playing on their iPhones) I approached the table and I said, “Do you mind if my daughter uses the game? We’ve been waiting a while.” So they got up and I moved our stuff. Get this … a mom with a son at the table next to us (who arrived MUCH later than we did) started screaming about how unfair it was. I ignored her and pretended not to hear. It was clearly our turn. And since I knew that it WAS fair and we were right, I didn’t say a word to hear. — I let it go.

So perhaps there is hope for me yet.  A friend suggested that check out, “Six Simple Rules for a Better Life” by David Singer. I will look it up. In the meantime, I’ll be practicing my Metta Drum challenges.

He says, “Instead of trying to be less argumentative and more understanding of the viewpoints of others, simply let go of the need to always be right, the need to win. Underneath that, you may discover a fear that you aren’t being heard, a fear of being invisible and unimportant. This fear may reveal the need for a very specific type of self-love — and once you understand where nurturing and healing are needed, you can begin your work of letting go at the source.”

He adds, “That’s just one example, but it illustrates the process of letting go of the outermost layers of “stuff” and revealing the deeper issues underneath, where you can discover your root needs and begin to nurture them. This is where true healing and transformation take place. This is where your higher Self is waiting to emerge. Begin the process of letting go of what you are not, and uncovering your neglected/abandoned needs. Nurture and clarify your true Self in this way. The process of transformation is really a process of discovery and refinement of who you truly are.”

With what happened at McD’s, I’d say that I have already begun to transform. Here’s to a step in the right direction! *cheers!*

Today, you are not asked to change in order to become a better version of yourself. You are free to simply let go of what isn’t You. Free to let go of what isn’t magnificent and beautiful. Free to delight in the nakedness of You. The beauty and excellence of You. The fullness of You.TODAY, YOU ARE FREE.

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